On the lookout for a humorous saying in your wedding ceremony speech, toast or card?
One thing that can make the blissful couple and everybody else giggle out loud?
Then at present’s submit is simply what you want. In it I wish to share 100 of the wittiest and greatest humorous wedding ceremony quotes.
Use one or a few them for one of many three issues talked about above or for social media posts, group chats or texts to make this celebration of affection a enjoyable and lighthearted one.
Humorous Wedding ceremony Quotes That Will Make You and Everybody on the Celebration Snigger
“The perfect factor you are able to do is use an individual who loves you for precisely who you’re: good temper, dangerous temper, ugly, fairly, good-looking, what have you ever. The proper individual continues to be going to suppose the solar shines out of your ass. That’s the form of person who’s value sticking with.”
– Juno
“I like being married. It’s so nice to seek out that one particular individual you wish to annoy for the remainder of your life.”
– Rita Rudner
“Getting married is like buying and selling the adoration of many for the sarcasm of 1.”
– Mae West
“The primary draft of my vows, which I wrote the day after we bought engaged, clocked in at round 70 pages.”
– Lelsli Knope (from the TV-show Parks and Recreation)
“I’m married to a really uncommon individual, however perhaps it took a really uncommon individual to be keen to marry me.”
– Fiona Shaw
“Bear in mind, we’re head over heels in love, so it’s alright to kiss me anytime you’re feeling prefer it.”
– Suzanne Collins, The Starvation Video games
“She’s your lobster. C’mon you guys. It’s a recognized proven fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for all times. You may really see outdated lobster {couples}, strolling round their tank, you understand, holding claws.”
– Phoebe Buffay (from the TV-show Mates)
“My spouse had us register for tremendous china, since you by no means know when the Pope goes to swing by and need a microwaved sizzling canine on a $200 plate.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Some individuals ask the key of our lengthy marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two instances per week. A bit of candlelight, dinner, mushy music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I’m going Fridays.”
– Henny Youngman
“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a person who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a lady who can’t sleep with the window open.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“You realize your voice is form of good when your mouth isn’t screwing it up. Yeah and also you appears to be like are form of fairly. When your face isn’t screwing it up.”
– The Goonies
“I like that you simply get chilly when it’s 71 levels out. I like that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I like that you simply get a little bit crinkle above your nostril once you’re taking a look at me like I’m nuts. I like that after I spend the day with you, I can nonetheless odor your fragrance on my garments. And I like that you’re the final individual I wish to speak to earlier than I fall asleep at night time.”
– When Harry Met Sally
“Webster’s Dictionary defines wedding ceremony as ‘the fusing of two metals with a sizzling torch.’ Properly, you understand one thing? I believe you guys are two medals. Gold medals.”
– Michale Scott, (from the TV-show The Workplace)
“A wedding is at all times made up of two people who find themselves ready to swear that solely the opposite one snores.”
– Terry Pratchett
“We’re all a little bit bizarre. And life is a little bit bizarre. And after we discover somebody whose weirdness is suitable with ours, we be part of up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and name it love – real love.”
– Robert Fulghum
Humorous Wedding ceremony Quotes and Sayings for a Speech, Toast or Card
“Love is a perfect factor, marriage an actual factor.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“I married for love however the apparent facet profit of getting somebody round to seek out my glasses can’t be ignored.”
– Cameron Esposito
“Marriage is a bond between an individual who by no means remembers anniversaries and one other who by no means forgets them.”
– Ogden Nash
“A cheerful marriage is an extended dialog which at all times appears too brief.”
– André Maurois
“The difficulty with some girls is that they get all enthusiastic about nothing – after which marry him.”
– Cher
“There are 100 paths via the world which can be simpler than loving. However who desires simpler?”
– Mary Oliver
“The key to an excellent marriage is to be a little bit deaf.”
– Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“My most sensible achievement was my capacity to have the ability to persuade my spouse to marry me.”
– Winston Churchill
“Preserve your eyes vast open earlier than marriage, half shut afterwards.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“Love is blind; marriage is the eye-opener.”
– Pauline Thomason
“Who received in life? Me. As a result of I bought to marry you.”
– Chip Gaines
“However the factor is that this, after some time, you simply wish to be with the one which makes you giggle.”
– Intercourse and the Metropolis
“I’m not a sensible man, however I do know what love is.”
– Forrest Gump
“Marriage is sort of a tense, unfunny, model of All people Loves Raymond, solely it doesn’t final 22 minutes. It lasts eternally.”
– Pete (from the film Knocked Up)
“A marriage marks the primary day of the remainder of your life. You’ve gotten been useless till now. Had been you conscious of that? You’re useless proper now.”
– Bride Wars
“In case you’re considering of getting married, you may as properly be taught proper now that it’s important to let girls be girls.”
– Hiya, Dolly!
“I can’t make you’re keen on me, however I can fill my pantry together with your favourite snacks and give you a weekly stipend of $75.”
– Rob Delaney
“Michelle’s like Beyoncé in that track, ‘Let me improve ya!’ She upgraded me.”
– Barack Obama
“In case you can keep in love for greater than two years, you’re on one thing.”
– Fran Lebowitz
“Be sure to have date night time even when it’s as soon as in a blue moon as a result of more often than not you’re simply too drained and also you’d really desire to sleep.”
– Chris Hemsworth
“Clearly, if I used to be critical about having a relationship with somebody long-term, the final individuals I might introduce him to could be my household.”
– Chelsea Handler
Humorous Wedding ceremony Quotes for Mates
“To maintain your marriage brimming, with love within the loving cup, everytime you’re incorrect, admit it; everytime you’re proper, shut up.”
– Ogden Nash
“For marriage to be successful, each girl and each man ought to have her and his personal toilet. The top.”
– Catherine Zeta-Jones
“Love is a two-way avenue continuously below building.”
– Carroll Bryant
“By all means, marry. In case you get an excellent spouse, you’ll change into blissful; for those who get a nasty one, you’ll change into a thinker.”
– Socrates
“It’s a humorous factor that when a person hasn’t something on earth to fret about, he goes off and will get married.”
– Robert Frost
“Marriage is a superb invention: then once more, so is a bicycle restore equipment.”
– Billy Connolly
“Look, you wish to know what marriage is actually like? Wonderful. You get up, she’s there. You come again from work, she’s there. You go to sleep, she’s there. You eat dinner, she’s there. You realize? I imply, I do know that seems like a nasty factor, but it surely’s not.”
– Robert (from the TV-show All people Loves Raymond)
“Marriage isn’t just non secular communion. It is usually remembering to take out the trash.”
– Dr. Joyce Brothers
“A profitable marriage requires falling in love many instances – at all times with the identical individual.”
– Mignon McLaughlin
“One of the best ways to get most husbands to do one thing is to counsel that maybe they’re too outdated to do it.”
– Anne Bancroft
“Spend a couple of minutes a day actually listening to your partner. Regardless of how silly their issues sound to you.”
– Megan Mullally
“Earlier than you marry an individual, it’s best to first make them use a pc with gradual web to see who they are surely.”
– Will Ferrell
“Marriage is sort of a graph: It has its ups and downs and so long as issues bounce again up once more, you’ve bought an excellent marriage. If it heads straight down, then you definately’ve bought some issues!”
– Julie Andrews
“Love is rather a lot like a backache; it doesn’t present up on X-rays, however you understand it’s there.”
– George Burns
“I wish to hear that you simply guys watch each episode of The Bachelorette collectively in secret disgrace, or that one bought the opposite hooked on Breaking Unhealthy and if both watches it with out the opposite, they’re useless meat. I wish to see you guys high-five one another like teammates on a leisure softball staff you each do for enjoyable.”
– Mindy Kaling
“Once you love somebody as a lot as I like you, getting married is the one factor left to do. So, will you, um, marry me?”
– April (from the film Undoubtedly, Perhaps)
“In case you’re ever with a woman that’s too good for you, marry her.”
– Reed Bennett (from the film Valentine’s Day)
“ good friend simply informed me that the important thing to a profitable marriage was to argue bare.”
– LeAnn Rimes
“ spouse at all times forgives her husband when she’s incorrect.”
– Milton Berle
“Simply came upon the spouse is writing a ebook about our honeymoon referred to as 50 Shades of Simply OK.”
– Conan O’Brien
“Care for him. And make him really feel essential. And if you are able to do that, you’ll have a contented and fantastic marriage. Like two out of each ten {couples}.”
– Neil Simon
“You realize there’s a identify for people who find themselves at all times incorrect about the whole lot on a regular basis… Husband!”
– Invoice Maher
“I’m so conflicted when my husband does the laundry. On one hand, he did the laundry. On the opposite, my garments can now be bought at Hole Youngsters.”
– Molly McNearney
Quick and Humorous Wedding ceremony Quotes
“The key of a contented marriage stays a secret.”
– Henny Youngman
“ marriage could be between a blind spouse and a deaf husband.”
– Michel de Montaigne
“Marriage has no ensures. If that’s what you’re on the lookout for, go stay with a automobile battery.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Marriage is an try to resolve issues collectively which you didn’t even have once you have been by yourself.”
– Eddie Cantor
“If you wish to examine love and marriage, you’ve bought to purchase two separate books.”
– Alan King
“When a person opens a automobile door for his spouse, it’s both a brand new automobile or a brand new spouse.”
– Prince Philip
“I believe anyone who falls in love is a freak. It’s a loopy factor to do. It’s form of like a type of socially acceptable madness.”
– Amy (from the film Her)
“An archeologist is the very best husband a lady can have. The older she will get, the extra he’s in her.”
– Agatha Christie
“I usually ponder whether women and men actually go well with one another. Maybe they need to stay subsequent door and simply go to at times.”
– Katharine Hepburn
“I’m a really dedicated spouse. And I ought to be dedicated, too – for being married so many instances.”
– Elizabeth Taylor
“Once you first get married, they open the automobile door for you. Eighteen years now…as soon as he opened the automobile door for me within the final 4 years – we have been on the freeway on the time.”
– Joan Rivers
“I’ve realized that solely two issues are essential to hold one’s spouse blissful. First, let her suppose she’s having her personal means. And second, let her have it.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson
“‘I’m’ is supposedly the shortest sentence within the English language. Might it’s that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?”
– George Carlin
“I requested my dad as soon as, ‘How did you and Mum keep married for 33 years?’ And he stated, ‘Properly, we by no means needed to get divorced on the similar time.’”
– Gwyneth Paltrow
“They are saying all marriages are made in heaven, however so are thunder and lightning.”
– Clint Eastwood
“Truthfully, for those who’re not keen to sound silly, you don’t should be in love.”
– Emily (from the film A Lot Like Love)
“I like you. That’s why I make you depressing.”
– Carmen (from the film Actual Girls Have Curves)
“We bought married: society’s resolution to loneliness, lust and laundry.”
– Luke Rhinehart
“I’m on the lookout for somebody to share in an journey that I’m arranging, and it’s very tough to seek out anybody.”
– J.R.R. Tolkien (from the ebook The Hobbit)
“All males make errors, however married males discover out about them sooner.”
– Purple Skelton
“Marriage is figure. Marriage is a profession. It’s not an journey, you do extra earlier than 5 than most people do all day.”
– Sinbad
“There’s just one solution to have a contented marriage and as quickly as I be taught what it’s I’ll get married once more.”
– Clint Eastwood
“Husbands are like fires. They exit when unattended.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
“In each good marriage, it pays typically to be a little bit deaf.”
– Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Humorous Anniversary Quotes on a Glad and Robust Marriage
“The primary time you marry for love, the second for cash, and the third for companionship.”
– Jackie Kennedy
“Spend a couple of minutes a day actually listening to your partner. Regardless of how silly his issues sound to you.”
– Unknown
“Males who’ve a pierced ear are higher ready for marriage – they’ve skilled ache and purchased jewellery.”
– Rita Rudner
“All the time get married within the morning. That means if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the entire day.”
– Mickey Rooney
“My spouse Mary and I’ve been married for forty-seven years and never as soon as have we had an argument critical sufficient to contemplate divorce; homicide, sure, however divorce, by no means.”
– Jack Benny
“Marriage is nice for individuals who are afraid to sleep alone at night time.”
– St. Jerome
“Most of a husband’s life is spent in doing analysis on his spouse.”
– Pawan Mishra
“The person who says his spouse can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.”
– Oscar Wilde
“Solely married individuals perceive you will be depressing and blissful on the similar time.”
– Chris Rock
“Marriage is actually powerful as a result of it’s important to take care of emotions… and attorneys.”
– Richard Pryor
“A person is already midway in love with any girl who listens to him.”
– Brendan Behan
“In each marriage greater than per week outdated, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to seek out, and proceed to seek out, grounds for marriage.”
– Robert Anderson
“Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly flip it again up. We each vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is enjoyable.”
– Stephanie Ortiz
“Gravitation isn’t chargeable for individuals falling in love.”
– Albert Einstein
“Marriage is about the costliest means for the typical man to get laundry performed.”
– Burt Reynolds
“Behind each nice man is a lady rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey
“Marry a person your individual age; as your magnificence fades, so will his eyesight.”
– Phyllis Diller
Need extra inspiration for wedding ceremony speeches, toasts and playing cards? Then take a look at these brief wedding ceremony quotes, the inspirational wedding ceremony quotes right here and likewise this one with humorous love quotes.
