When You Cease Forcing, Life Flows


“You don’t must drive the movement—typically your solely job is to melt and let go.” ~Unknown

For many of my life, I used to be obsessive about getting all the things proper. Planning. Controlling. Anticipating each end result so I wouldn’t be caught off guard. I noticed life as a form of puzzle: if I simply made the suitable strikes in the suitable order, I’d get what I wished. Peace, success, love.

However life doesn’t work that method.

The extra I attempted to regulate it, the extra I felt out of alignment. I’d burn out making an attempt to make issues occur. When one thing went fallacious, I blamed myself for not anticipating it. I couldn’t loosen up as a result of I used to be at all times tightening the reins, making an attempt to steer the unknown.

Then at some point, one thing cracked.

It was the winter of 2021. I used to be staying in a quiet village in southern Portugal, making an attempt to piece my life again collectively after a painful breakup and the collapse of a startup I had poured years into. I’d gone there pondering solitude and contemporary air would assist me reset.

However nothing felt proper.

I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t meditate. I couldn’t even benefit from the ocean—one thing that when introduced me pure pleasure. As a substitute of peace, I felt caught and overwhelmed. My thoughts replayed each resolution I’d remodeled the previous few years like a courtroom drama. “If solely you’d finished this.” “It’s best to have seen that coming.” “You’ve ruined your shot.”

I sat on the seashore one night because the solar went down, feeling utterly defeated. I keep in mind watching the waves crash rhythmically in opposition to the rocks. They didn’t care about me or my errors. They weren’t speeding or apologizing. They have been simply… doing their factor.

That’s when it hit me.

Nature doesn’t drive something. A wave doesn’t attempt to be taller. A tree doesn’t attempt to develop quicker. They exist in a form of belief—a pure cooperation with life. And in some way, regardless of all that ease, they thrive.

What if I’m the one disrupting my very own movement by making an attempt to regulate all the things?

It wasn’t a lightning bolt. It was extra like a comfortable whisper inside. However one thing shifted.

I began asking myself a brand new query every morning: “What would occur as we speak if I didn’t attempt to management something?”

I didn’t must drive myself to do nothing. I nonetheless labored, moved, made selections. However I attempted to remain current moderately than 5 steps forward. I let myself really feel unsure with out reaching for options straight away. I listened extra—to myself, to life, to the quiet.

And over time, I observed one thing unusual. My anxiousness began to fade—not suddenly, however like a fog lifting. I finished catastrophizing each resolution. I felt just a little extra at peace, even when nothing round me had modified.

That’s once I started studying what I now name divine movement.

To me, divine movement is the present of life that we will both resist or give up to. It’s not passive. It’s not about “doing nothing” or abandoning effort. It’s about cooperating with one thing deeper—one thing past simply logic or planning.

It’s studying to acknowledge that there are seasons for pushing and seasons for resting. That typically what appears like a setback is definitely an invite to realign. That readability typically comes once you cease chasing it.

There’s a belief that builds once you stay this manner.

You notice you don’t must have all the things discovered. You’ll be able to nonetheless transfer ahead with intention—however with out gripping so tightly.

Since then, I’ve constructed a life extra aligned with who I’m. I began creating wellness occasions targeted on neighborhood and connection moderately than perfection. I met individuals who impressed me just by being themselves. I even realized to point out up vulnerably, like I’m doing now, while not having all the things to be polished or spectacular.

I nonetheless have moments the place I fall again into previous habits—the place I attempt to drive outcomes or repair all the things too shortly. However I catch myself quicker now. I’ve realized that stress is normally an indication that I’m out of the movement.

When you’re in an area the place issues really feel arduous or disconnected, listed below are just a few light invites that helped me reconnect with the movement:

  • Let your self really feel misplaced. You don’t must rush to “determine it out.” Generally essentially the most fertile development occurs within the areas the place we permit ourselves to really feel confused and unsure.
  • Hear greater than you analyze. As a substitute of making an attempt to drive solutions, sit along with your questions. Journal. Stroll. Let ideas come while not having to entice them.
  • Launch the timeline. Issues don’t must occur in your schedule. You’re not late. You’re not behind. You’re simply unfolding.
  • Ask for indicators—however don’t cling to them. Generally life will whisper instructions once you’re quiet sufficient to listen to. However the bottom line is to hear with out expectation or strain.
  • Come again to your breath. When your thoughts spirals, anchor into the current. One breath. One step. One second.

We will’t at all times select what occurs to us, however we will select how we meet life. With resistance—or with curiosity. With concern—or with belief.

As of late, I nonetheless sit by the ocean once I can. I nonetheless watch the waves. I remind myself that there’s a rhythm beneath all the things—and that my solely actual job is to remain comfortable sufficient to really feel it.

Possibly that’s all we ever wanted to do.

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