Hello. It’s me. 👋
I’ve Covid. I’m writing to you from my couch at 3:14am, surrounded in Kleenex. I appear to be a 100-year-old snapping turtle who wandered right into a home in East Toronto in the course of the evening and popped a laptop computer open.
I’m awake and occupied with January, and the unusual and tender pull in direction of of New Years Resolutions.
“Decision”. Can we begin there? Apparently it comes from the Latin resolvere, which suggests “to loosen, undo, settle.” As of late we principally us the phrase “resolve” for interpersonal conflicts or tough math issues. It appears odd to additionally need to resolve a 12 months.
Tonight I’ve a concept although. I feel it has to do with disappointment.
I don’t find out about you, however I usually really feel like time is breaking my coronary heart. The best way it takes away a lot, and guarantees to remove all the remaining.
Numerous issues I’ve cherished — folks, initiatives, desires, canine — aren’t transferring into 2025 with me. And a lot of what’s nonetheless right here received’t make it to 2026.
And by some means, we nonetheless maintain onto this urge to resolve. To make recent plans. To think about new variations of who we may very well be.
How unbelievably hopeful. How radical.
From my very cursory analysis on this (my eyeballs damage) New Years Resolutions go a great distance again. Historical Babylonians had been making them 4000 years in the past, guarantees to the gods once they planted their crops. Later the Romans jumped in, making guarantees to Janus — the God of January.
In medieval occasions, knights would collect round a roasted peacock at the moment of 12 months, and lay their fingers on it to recommit to chivalry earlier than it was carved.
(Um, can all of us pause right here and simply really feel that?)
And but, every time, we know it in all probability received’t work.
Analysis reveals that round 9/10 resolutions fail, many inside weeks. It’s really easy to get cynical about this. However can we push that again in opposition to that edge? Ought to we?
Cynicism is an exit door from hope. And as we as a collective crest into 2025, with authoritarian leaders, climbing temperatures and extra trash than any planet may hope to course of, we don’t want much less hope.
I hear the temptation to cynicism on a regular basis once I discuss to folks about writing.
I already tried to complete a novel
I already tried to start out a writing apply.
I already tried to get printed.
That is in all probability true. Nevertheless it has no bearing on the future. If good issues at all times occurred on the primary strive, then sure, let go after one try. However everyone knows that the massive and vital issues in life take effort, persistence, time, grace, luck and, sure, resolve.
Janus (the god of January that the Romans made their resolutions to) was mentioned to inhabit doorways and arches. That’s what this present day is — a door, an arch, an opportunity to maneuver ahead with one thing else.
Can we stock our failures and losses by these arches, and nonetheless make house to hope for one thing new to “loosen, undo, and settle into”? I need to.
There’s disappointment right here, sure sure sure. And nonetheless, right here we’re, transferring into the longer term, with our capability and our creativity intact.
So, tonight I’m going to place my hand on the peacock, and simply… strive.
Not as a result of I do know I’ll succeed (I in all probability received’t) however as a result of I care about how I exploit my days on this stunning earth, I need to make good issues, and know I can do higher.
Will you be a part of me? Write me again. Inform me what you need to make this 12 months. What issues most? What do you need to defend and uplift? I received’t maintain you to it, however I’ll maintain it with you.
It’s virtually time to move again to mattress.
Clammy sheets and a loud night breathing accomplice await me upstairs. However earlier than I do, I’m going to be very susceptible and let you know my resolutions.
I need to make much more time to learn and write this 12 months, and to comply with my curiosity into the locations it’s most hungry to go — loneliness, neighborhood, artistic course of, new methods of imagining enterprise.
I need to write about these right here, to you, but in addition in longer essays, and new platforms — podcasts, articles, occasions. I need to be open to invites to put in writing and speak about these items, to not shrink once they come.
I’m cringing, telling you this, however I don’t assume we’re purported to make resolutions alone. So thanks for being right here with mine, and please ship me yours. Let’s transfer into 2025 collectively, courageous and hopeful, regardless of all of it.
In it with you,
